I’m currently reading Zig Ziglar’s See You at the Top, and since I’m engaged in what I’m calling the Dan Miller Challenge, it follows that I have to select an action item based on what I’m currently reading in Mr. Ziglar’s book.
I selected Steps 9 and 10 from his chapter “Fifteen Steps to a Healthy Self-Image”:
- Make a list of your positive qualities.
- Make a victory list to remind you of past successes.
I will not share the lists with you, but I did write them out.
Honestly, it felt hokey. It felt a little silly. But it also felt good.
Many of us spend a heck of a lot of time heckling ourselves.
We call ourselves silly, dumb, hopeless, ugly, fat, unloveable, unworthy, useless.
Just yesterday, after disciplining one of my 6 year old sons (discipline that consisted of timeout for shoving his brother to the ground), I heard him in his room sobbing deeply and repeating the refrain, “Everybody hates me.”
Nothing could be further from the truth and about 10 minutes later, he and I were cutting up and laughing.
But haven’t many of us had those moments? Where we just assume we’re universally despised and ultimately broken and useless?
I don’t mean to get so heavy in a sales blog, but sales does carry with it its share of rejection. We might not tell ourselves we’re useless on the whole, but we can, after repeated unsuccessful attempts to sell our products or services, be tempted to turn on ourselves with harsh, self-critical barbs.
We’re only human. We’re a part of this group of people who are imperfect. Part of that imperfection is holding ourselves to a strange standard of perfection. When we don’t hit the mark, some of us can berate ourselves.
Therefore, I suggest that you, too, write out a short list of your positive qualities and your accomplishments. Carry it around with you.
The next thing I’d suggest is to make it a point to call out the good stuff you see in those around you. I think this will go even further in upping your mental game then having a note card of self-adulation in your wallet.
- Compliment your spouse.
- Call out your child’s good effort.
- Thank a coworker for a job well-done.
- Email an old friend and remind the friend of something you love about him.
Are these activities hokey and pollyanna?
Are they good to do anyway?
Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.
To wrap up the story about my son…. when I put my son to bed last night, I reminded him, “Buddy, you know your mom and I and your sister and your brother and Mimi and Papi and Grammie and Grandpa and your friends all love you.”
He replied, “I know that Daddy,” as if he was as sure of it as anything, his earlier bout with despair far behind him. May we all live in the confidence that we are who we need to be and that while we’re not perfect, we’re still worth quite a bit. Quite a bit indeed.
Recent Reading and Listening (besides Zig’s book)
A Beautiful Design (Part 8) – Woman’s Hurdles – The Village Church with Matt Chandler.
I’m not going to touch this one with a ten-foot pole, but some of the ideas about perfectionism referenced above might have been influenced by this sermon podcast. I loved this quote: “If perfection is the standard, how can we ever be at peace?”
Are You a Leader? 12 Ways to Know for Sure [Podcast] – This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt
An encouraging podcast – both to clarify if you are a leader and to give you a blueprint for strengthening your leaderly qualities. A great, great listen.
How Do I Transition Out of My Corporate Job to Work for Myself? (and Other Listener Questions) [Podcast] -This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt
Some questions. Some answers. The theme, in my mind, was the importance of creating value for others. Above all strategies and tactics, focus on creating value. Eventually, the strategies and tactics will become evident.
What If You Could Take a One-Month Sabbatical? [Podcast]-This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt
A one month sabbatical? Seriously? Not possible right now, but the principle of unplugging at regular intervals is possible. I love the observation that exhaustion is the new status symbol. That’s just plain dumb. We must recharge regularly.