The Sales Experiment

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The Best Way to Say “Yes” is to Say “No”

The Best Way to Say “Yes” is to Say “No”

say no so you can say yes

Yesterday I received a Facebook message from an old friend.

The message was an invitation to get in on the most wonderful new opportunity (can you smell the network marketing opportunity about to drop on me?).

My buddy was pretty convincing. She didn’t take no for an answer. She assured me that it was the ground floor and she wasn’t inviting just anybody (appealing to the ‘early adopter’ in me while tossing in a dose of scarcity to pull at me a little bit).

As a matter of fact, she was meeting with a former/current insurance agent at a Starbucks around the corner from my office the next morning (which would be this morning). Couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?

I was tempted. Yes. I was tempted with the Seacret Revolution (click on the link at your own peril as you might get swept away with the business opportunity of a lifetime).

But then it hit me. I have two and a half blogs. I have a full-time sales and marketing position at a wonderful firm. I’m assisting a couple people with social media marketing efforts. More importantly, I have a family that I love and a few home projects that need to get done.

If I say ‘Yes’ to this opportunity, I’m saying ‘No’ to my effectiveness in one or more of these other areas.

Something would have to give.

I then remembered Michael Hyatt’s recent podcast on his 10 top books of all time (and another podcast of his dedicated to the book Essentialism). In both Podcasts, Hyatt discusses Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less and this key idea:

When we say “no” to something, it gives us the opportunity to say “yes” to something else.

I love it when my epiphanies can be traced to content I’ve been consuming.

If I go to this 9am coffee to discuss this relationship marketing opportunity and get sucked in, I’m saying ‘No’ to being my best at my other responsibilities. Truth be told, I should exercise saying ‘No’ to a few of my current commitments. This fellow needs some margin.

We simply don’t have the mental, physical, and emotional bandwidth to say yes to everything.

The best way to say yes, is to say no. 

I have no problem with people asking me for my time or energy or for my involvement. It’s on me to be protective and to filter new requests. That’s why we all need to be diligent around knowing and understanding our priorities. If someone presents us with a task or an ‘opportunity of a lifetime’ and it doesn’t fit within those priorities (or doesn’t truly pique our interest), then we must say no.

Audit Your “Yesses” Regularly

Something I’ve not been good at is auditing my commitments. Are there things I’m doing that I simply shouldn’t be doing?

What about you?

Are you over-burdened?

Does your schedule have margin?

Are you a “yes” person to the detriment of your personal health, your relationships, your family?

Audit your calendar and commitments to see.

Audit Your Clients

If you’re in sales, are you committing to prospects or clients for whom you can’t do your best work? If so, then make it a priority to start saying ‘No’ to those clients and prospects.

We don’t have to work with every person who can fog up a mirror. We can be selective. If we pile our books of business with clients that suck our energy, we can’t pour into those who appreciate what we do for them.

What Do You Need to Audit?

We could take this auditing and saying ‘no’ thing pretty far. Some of us might need to audit relationships, food choices, addictions, media, social media, or any number of things that battle against our ultimate goals and priorities.

What do you need to drop? What needs to take up less space in your world?

Learn to say ‘No’ so you can be all in with your ‘Yes’.

Until tomorrow…

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Reading and Listening

See You at the Top – Zig Ziglar

First Christmas – Joel Thomas, North Point Community Church

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Do Not Pass the Buck

I wanted to tell a story about how I did not pass the buck today. Given the nature of my business, it’s hard to figure out what wise disclosure on a blog might be, so we’ll just say that I passed the test and didn’t pass the buck.

It would have been easy to brush this situation under the rug. And I could have allowed someone else to unknowingly bear the brunt of the blame, but I didn’t.

I’m not saying this to brag and show off about how full of character I am. We all have strengths in our character. We all have weaknesses. Thankfully, at work, I’ve worked hard at being willing to take responsibility when I’ve fouled up. And it’s ever so tempting to pass the buck, to shew the blame on down the line.

There are a billion ways to pass the buck.

  • We can blame colleagues
  • We can blame our busy-ness
  • We can blame clients
  • We can blame the computer system or the ridiculous barrage of emails in my inbox.
  • We can blame the systems or the processes
  • We can always blame management. They’re always fouling up, no?

One thing I’ve had to put my foot down about at work is this: I’d rather be fired after admitting to having made a bad decision or screwed up on a task than develop the reputation for never taking responsibility.

This position on taking responsibility was affirmed today when I listened to Michael Hyatt’s podcast: Why Accountability is Vital for Leaders. I’ve heard the good Mr. Hyatt mention the importance of leaders taking responsibility many times.

Perfection isn’t possible, so why pretend like we never screw up?

If we fess up, then we’re teachable. If we’re teachable and hardworking, then we’ll improve or we’ll figure out we simply need to move on.

Taking responsibility – being accountable – for our performance helps a quality leader or manager uncover our weaknesses (even if we’re our own manager or leader). If we constantly gloss over our screw-ups, then we won’t give opportunity for teachable moments and growth.

Taking responsibility is vital not only to being a leader, but for growing.

I recently lost an opportunity to a competitor. It would have been easy to blame the situation and circumstances, circumstances that were beyond my control. My contact passed the decision regarding my potential proposal to a colleague. The colleague had a friend who offered the same services I do. The colleague’s friend got the business.

I could blame them for not giving me a fair shake, but that wouldn’t teach me a dang thing.

The better approach is to ask the right questions.

  • What could I have done differently?
  • Did I clarify well enough who the decision-makers were?
  • Did I trust my relationship with my main point of contact too much?
  • Did I provide enough value in my initial appointments?

Passing the buck shields us from having to stare at ourselves in the mirror and face our imperfections.

Taking responsibility? That sucks for a few moments, but it creates opportunities for growth and learning.

Where you do you tend to pass the buck? Where do you struggle with taking responsibility?

(Leave a response in the comments)

Until tomorrow…

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Reading and Listening (in addition to the Hyatt podcast mentioned above)

Grow Your Social Media Following with These 10 Different Kinds of Posts – This is Your Life (Podcast) with Michael Hyatt & Michele Cushatt

My Top Ten Favorite Books of All Time – This is Your Life (Podcast) with Michael Hyatt & Michele Cushatt

See You at the Top – Zig Ziglar

Links to Amazon.com are affiliate links. In other words, if you click and buy, then I get a commission. This is very much appreciated if you find any value in this blog. 

 

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Two Hacks to Help Strengthen Your Self-Image

I’m currently reading Zig Ziglar’s See You at the Top, and since I’m engaged in what I’m calling the Dan Miller Challenge, it follows that I have to select an action item based on what I’m currently reading in Mr. Ziglar’s book.

I selected Steps 9 and 10 from his chapter “Fifteen Steps to a Healthy Self-Image”:

  1. Make a list of your positive qualities.
  2. Make a victory list to remind you of past successes.

I will not share the lists with you, but I did write them out.

Honestly, it felt hokey. It felt a little silly. But it also felt good.

Many of us spend a heck of a lot of time heckling ourselves.

We call ourselves silly, dumb, hopeless, ugly, fat, unloveable, unworthy, useless.

Just yesterday, after disciplining one of my 6 year old sons (discipline that consisted of timeout for shoving his brother to the ground), I heard him in his room sobbing deeply and repeating the refrain, “Everybody hates me.”

Nothing could be further from the truth and about 10 minutes later, he and I were cutting up and laughing.

But haven’t many of us had those moments? Where we just assume we’re universally despised and ultimately broken and useless?

I don’t mean to get so heavy in a sales blog, but sales does carry with it its share of rejection. We might not tell ourselves we’re useless on the whole, but we can, after repeated unsuccessful attempts to sell our products or services, be tempted to turn on ourselves with harsh, self-critical barbs.

We’re only human. We’re a part of this group of people who are imperfect. Part of that imperfection is holding ourselves to a strange standard of perfection. When we don’t hit the mark, some of us can berate ourselves.

Therefore, I suggest that you, too, write out a short list of your positive qualities and your accomplishments. Carry it around with you.

The next thing I’d suggest is to make it a point to call out the good stuff you see in those around you. I think this will go even further in upping your mental game then having a note card of self-adulation in your wallet.

  • Compliment your spouse.
  • Call out your child’s good effort.
  • Thank a coworker for a job well-done.
  • Email an old friend and remind the friend of something you love about him.

Are these activities hokey and pollyanna?

Maybe.

Are they good to do anyway?

For sure.

Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.

To wrap up the story about my son…. when I put my son to bed last night, I reminded him, “Buddy, you know your mom and I and your sister and your brother and Mimi and Papi and Grammie and Grandpa and your friends all love you.”

He replied, “I know that Daddy,” as if he was as sure of it as anything, his earlier bout with despair far behind him. May we all live in the confidence that we are who we need to be and that while we’re not perfect, we’re still worth quite a bit. Quite a bit indeed.

Until tomorrow…

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Recent Reading and Listening (besides Zig’s book)

A Beautiful Design (Part 8) – Woman’s Hurdles – The Village Church with Matt Chandler.

I’m not going to touch this one with a ten-foot pole, but some of the ideas about perfectionism referenced above might have been influenced by this sermon podcast. I loved this quote: “If perfection is the standard, how can we ever be at peace?”

Are You a Leader? 12 Ways to Know for Sure [Podcast] – This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt

An encouraging podcast – both to clarify if you are a leader and to give you a blueprint for strengthening your leaderly qualities. A great, great listen.

How Do I Transition Out of My Corporate Job to Work for Myself? (and Other Listener Questions) [Podcast] -This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt

Some questions. Some answers. The theme, in my mind, was the importance of creating value for others. Above all strategies and tactics, focus on creating value. Eventually, the strategies and tactics will become evident.

What If You Could Take a One-Month Sabbatical? [Podcast]-This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt

A one month sabbatical? Seriously? Not possible right now, but the principle of unplugging at regular intervals is possible.  I love the observation that exhaustion is the new status symbol. That’s just plain dumb. We must recharge regularly.

 

 

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