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November 10, 2014 by Brett Leave a Comment

Two Hacks to Help Strengthen Your Self-Image

I’m currently reading Zig Ziglar’s See You at the Top, and since I’m engaged in what I’m calling the Dan Miller Challenge, it follows that I have to select an action item based on what I’m currently reading in Mr. Ziglar’s book.

I selected Steps 9 and 10 from his chapter “Fifteen Steps to a Healthy Self-Image”:

  1. Make a list of your positive qualities.
  2. Make a victory list to remind you of past successes.

I will not share the lists with you, but I did write them out.

Honestly, it felt hokey. It felt a little silly. But it also felt good.

Many of us spend a heck of a lot of time heckling ourselves.

We call ourselves silly, dumb, hopeless, ugly, fat, unloveable, unworthy, useless.

Just yesterday, after disciplining one of my 6 year old sons (discipline that consisted of timeout for shoving his brother to the ground), I heard him in his room sobbing deeply and repeating the refrain, “Everybody hates me.”

Nothing could be further from the truth and about 10 minutes later, he and I were cutting up and laughing.

But haven’t many of us had those moments? Where we just assume we’re universally despised and ultimately broken and useless?

I don’t mean to get so heavy in a sales blog, but sales does carry with it its share of rejection. We might not tell ourselves we’re useless on the whole, but we can, after repeated unsuccessful attempts to sell our products or services, be tempted to turn on ourselves with harsh, self-critical barbs.

We’re only human. We’re a part of this group of people who are imperfect. Part of that imperfection is holding ourselves to a strange standard of perfection. When we don’t hit the mark, some of us can berate ourselves.

Therefore, I suggest that you, too, write out a short list of your positive qualities and your accomplishments. Carry it around with you.

The next thing I’d suggest is to make it a point to call out the good stuff you see in those around you. I think this will go even further in upping your mental game then having a note card of self-adulation in your wallet.

  • Compliment your spouse.
  • Call out your child’s good effort.
  • Thank a coworker for a job well-done.
  • Email an old friend and remind the friend of something you love about him.

Are these activities hokey and pollyanna?

Maybe.

Are they good to do anyway?

For sure.

Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.

To wrap up the story about my son…. when I put my son to bed last night, I reminded him, “Buddy, you know your mom and I and your sister and your brother and Mimi and Papi and Grammie and Grandpa and your friends all love you.”

He replied, “I know that Daddy,” as if he was as sure of it as anything, his earlier bout with despair far behind him. May we all live in the confidence that we are who we need to be and that while we’re not perfect, we’re still worth quite a bit. Quite a bit indeed.

Until tomorrow…

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Recent Reading and Listening (besides Zig’s book)

A Beautiful Design (Part 8) – Woman’s Hurdles – The Village Church with Matt Chandler.

I’m not going to touch this one with a ten-foot pole, but some of the ideas about perfectionism referenced above might have been influenced by this sermon podcast. I loved this quote: “If perfection is the standard, how can we ever be at peace?”

Are You a Leader? 12 Ways to Know for Sure [Podcast] – This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt

An encouraging podcast – both to clarify if you are a leader and to give you a blueprint for strengthening your leaderly qualities. A great, great listen.

How Do I Transition Out of My Corporate Job to Work for Myself? (and Other Listener Questions) [Podcast] -This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt

Some questions. Some answers. The theme, in my mind, was the importance of creating value for others. Above all strategies and tactics, focus on creating value. Eventually, the strategies and tactics will become evident.

What If You Could Take a One-Month Sabbatical? [Podcast]-This is Your Life with Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt

A one month sabbatical? Seriously? Not possible right now, but the principle of unplugging at regular intervals is possible.  I love the observation that exhaustion is the new status symbol. That’s just plain dumb. We must recharge regularly.

 

 

Filed Under: Mindset Experiments Tagged With: Dan Miller Challenge, matt chandler, michael hyatt, michele cushatt, mindset, perfectionism, self-image, the village church, zig ziglar

September 26, 2014 by Brett Leave a Comment

Be Kind and Brave

School is a Place to Learn Bravery and Kindness

In the last 15 minutes of the Lewis Howes interview with Glennon Melton (link below), I found some of the best parenting advice ever.

Glennon talks about ‘the talk’ she has with her children every year before sending them back to school. I won’t try to relate it all here, because I couldn’t do so as eloquently as she does in the interview or in the post on her site (Go read her blog post “The Talk” on Momastery because it should be required reading for all parents).

She basically tells her children that she cares little whether they are the best or worst at any given school-based pursuit except for one: bravery and kindness (pardon the long quotation)….

We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.

We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.

Kind people are brave people. Brave is not a feeling that you should wait for. It is a decision. It is a decision that compassion is more important than fear, than fitting in, than following the crowd.

Trust me, baby, it is. It is more important.

Don’t try to be the best this year, honey.

Just be grateful and kind and brave. That’s all you ever need to be.

You must stop now and go read the rest of the post at The Momastery – “The Talk”

I could use that advice myself everyday when I head off to work or when I sit down to parent my children or be a husband to my wife.

It’s not the goal to be perfect or the best. The goal (as Ms. Melton also discusses in the interview with Howes) is to bring who I am, wherever I happen to be, to whatever situation I’m in, and just give myself. My kids don’t need a perfect dad. They just need me. And I have to believe my clients don’t need a perfect provider of services. They need a straight up, honest, servant.

She said (and I paraphrase), “When we stop trying to be perfect, we finally have energy to do good.”

I love that. It’s mantra-worthy.

As a matter of fact, if I worried about being perfect, I wouldn’t have written and hit ‘publish’ on all of these posts from this past month.

Thanks Lewis and Glennon. This 43 year old dude appreciates you both.

———————————–

Today’s Action: Brainstorm seminar/workshop topics for my first (official) opportunity.

Checked that box. I put together 6 topics with a short synopsis of each and sent them to the association’s education coordinator (not sure if that’s her official title).  I loved the fact that after having blogged for a while, I was able to develop topics pretty quickly. In truth, I didn’t have to develop them. They’ve been bubbling up and being fleshed out over the past 2 or 3 years.

Today’s Listening

How to Overcome Addictions and Be Courageously Vulnerable with Glennon Melton – The School of Greatness Podcast with Lewis Howes.

I finished up this episode today. I’m so glad I did. While it wasn’t directly actionable, I got all kinds of parenting ideas. In the end, if I can parent well, I will have been a success. Don’t forget to check out Glennon’s blog, The Momastery, to learn more.

What Sharing My Childhood Rape Taught Me About Being a Loving, Vulnerable, Free Man – The School of Greatness Podcast with Lewis Howes

I came close to passing over this episode of Mr. Howes’ podcast. Having a 7 year old daughter and 6 year old twin boys, I wasn’t sure if it was a story I had the emotional bandwidth to listen to today. I’m glad I did and appreciate, deeply, Lewis’s willingness to be ridiculously vulnerable. Courage has many faces and this episode showed one of them.

Until tomorrow…

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This blog is a response to Dan Miller’s unintentional challenge from his podcast on August 15, 2014: If you read or listen to 30 minutes of quality content a day, you’ll double your income. 

From September 1, 2014 through March 1, 2015, I will be doing the following:

  1. Listening or reading to 30 minutes of success, growth, business, spiritual, or other mindset-shifting, skill-sharpening content.
  2. Selecting one action item from that content (with some leeway to select an action from a previous day’s content).
  3. Doing that one action.
  4. Writing about the action or some other idea from the reading and listening of the day. 

 

 

Filed Under: Mindset Experiments, Sales Experiments, The Dan Miller Challenge Tagged With: bravery, glennon melton, kindness, lewis howes, momastery, perfectionism, school of greatness, vulnerability

Hello!

Brett the sales experimenter and the challenge accepter Brett - Sales and Marketing Experimenter. I'm a reluctant sales professional. I didn't start out my career in sales and marketing, but I've grown to enjoy it. Here I discuss marketing, sales, productivity, and mindset experiments that will hopefully yield greater results and a more deeply satisfying sales career.

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